nothing will fuck you up as much as the realization that there’s no real reason the alphabet needs to be in order
*sucks guys dick*
*dies of nut allergy*
did you know that proteins in brazil nuts can be transmitted sexually so if someone had an allergy and the guy had eaten brazil nuts then they could literally suck dick and die of a nut allergy
now I do
Everyone gets straight and gay, so I’m leaving those out.
You are now informed.
Gonna marry the hottest man in New York
Turns out my straight friends aren’t dating
Successfully broke into my own school
Made valedictorian even though I don’t have the highest GPA
Ass looks hella in these pants